Holy Circle Jerk, Batman!

So I registered for classes at SEARK today. Holy. Fucking. Shit. I hate that place.

• 8:05 - Go to the bank to make money appear from nowhere, thus funding my summer.
• 8:56 - Arrive at SEARK.
• 9:05 - Get in the longest fucking line I have ever seen.
• 9:30 (Time waiting: 30 minutes) - Realize that I am in the wrong line and first need advisor approval. A cute blonde with eyebrows in need of a bleach job holds my place.
• 9:33 - 10:02 - Go the Nursing/Allied Health Advisor room; explain my case. Am told to go to General Studies Advisor room and am incorrectly directed to Technical Studies Advisor Room; explain my case. Am sent to the Vice President 0f Student Affairs for special executive approval ("Why do I have to sign off on this? I don't know why they sent you to me."). She sends me to the co-chair of General Studies who I finally track down after three cross-campus trips in a dimly lit office ("Yep, I'm the guy to come to.").
• 10:03 - Resume my place in line, which has moved exactly ten feet.
• 11:00 (Time waiting: 2 hours) - Sit down in line.
• 11:58 (Time waiting: 3 hours) - Arrive at the front of the line where the following conversation occurs:
  "They approved you for this schedule?"
  "Yes, ma'am, they did."
  "No."
  "Mr. Eggensberger signed off on it."
  "No."
  "Well..."
  "No."
• 12:14 - The data entry worker leaves, then returns and claims that I must go obtain approval from the Dean of Library and Distance Learning Division.
• 12:30 - After doing so, return to data entry where the following conversation occurs:
  "Did you find her?"
  "Yes, ma'am."
  "All right... Wait, you've still got..."
  "Fine, just take the Sociology off! I don't care."
  [...]
  "Well, I guess... No, it's okay as long as Ms. Perschbacher signed it."
• 12:37 - Pay at the Business Office without a hitch.
• 12:49 - Purchase books without a hitch.

Mark it: a full four hours of bureacratic fuckarow designed to make my life a living Hell.

My statement of summation to mom: "That place is a complete cluster fuck, Mother; do you realize this?"